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When I wear high heels I feel young. I get this sense that I'm just this little kid playing dress up in her mother's clothes. I can feel the awkward movement of my body as I attempt to maintain balance and instead of feeling confident and mature, I end up feeling like a fraud.
I wore my new high heels to our Back to School Night. I even had a skirt on- pulling out all the stops for the new set of parents. When I stood in front of a room full of smiling parents and shared my vision for the year I couldn't help but feel terribly small. Not in a bad way. But it was a reminder that I, in a lot of ways, have no idea what I am doing.
I go to work each day and hundreds of people look to me as the authority. Parents come to me in moments of frustration and want advice on parenting. Students seek me out as their personal reference on all things. My words are like gold to my naive and trusting students. Shouldn't your teacher have all the answers? After all, she is the teacher.
But I'm 25. I've been doing this for two years. While I'm apt to think I do, I don't have all the answers. Every day I am baffled. Every day I have moments where I am overwhelmed. I make decisions all day, hoping that my conclusions will lead to student success, positive results, or at the very least, nothing too destructive.
It's when I wear my heels that I am humbled. Reminded that everyday I play dress up and pretend but really it's not pretend; I am the adult, I am in charge.
Terrifying, right?
When I wear high heels I feel young. I get this sense that I'm just this little kid playing dress up in her mother's clothes. I can feel the awkward movement of my body as I attempt to maintain balance and instead of feeling confident and mature, I end up feeling like a fraud.I wore my new high heels to our Back to School Night. I even had a skirt on- pulling out all the stops for the new set of parents. When I stood in front of a room full of smiling parents and shared my vision for the year I couldn't help but feel terribly small. Not in a bad way. But it was a reminder that I, in a lot of ways, have no idea what I am doing.
I go to work each day and hundreds of people look to me as the authority. Parents come to me in moments of frustration and want advice on parenting. Students seek me out as their personal reference on all things. My words are like gold to my naive and trusting students. Shouldn't your teacher have all the answers? After all, she is the teacher.
But I'm 25. I've been doing this for two years. While I'm apt to think I do, I don't have all the answers. Every day I am baffled. Every day I have moments where I am overwhelmed. I make decisions all day, hoping that my conclusions will lead to student success, positive results, or at the very least, nothing too destructive.
It's when I wear my heels that I am humbled. Reminded that everyday I play dress up and pretend but really it's not pretend; I am the adult, I am in charge.
Terrifying, right?
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1 comment:
i think as the years go by in education your confidence comes from knowing how to fake it...
Parents still get me everytime...
PS Do you have a good "read like a writer" lesson?
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