only for a season

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is that teachers have a very unique role. They have a small window of time to leave their mark. As soon as they enter or tidy rooms in August the clock starts running and the seconds tick away. Before we know it, June is here and with it a set of joys and disappointments.

Yesterday was the last day of school and while I’m just as ready as anyone else to hit the pool, do some summer reading and relax; I couldn’t help but feel the moment was a little bittersweet.

These students have been “mine” for two years now. They extra special to me since they were my first students ever and they are all I have to compare to when I reflect upon my teaching experiences. For some I felt as if things were just starting to get good and then summer was upon us, others were the kinds of kids you never want to lose, and then there were the small few that I released a sigh of relief when they walked out my door. I know that some of my students might keep good on their promise “to stay in touch” but the majority have officially moved on and are ready for the next stage of life. Aside from a coincidental sighting at the grocery store, they are gone. I think the finality of it all is settling in.

But isn’t that my job, to love them, care for them, fight for them and in some cases fight with them for only a short season? That’s all we get and then, if we’ve done our job well, they’re ready for the next step.

I can’t help but wonder what will become of this group of students. Will Cameron continue to grow in maturity? Will he still bring book recommendations to his teacher faithfully everyday, or will that be squelched by the demands of honors classes and extracurriculars? Will Kiona continue to love school in spite of her circumstances and extreme difficulty with comprehension? Will anyone know that she doesn’t get to sleep in the same place each night- that in spite of her smile and positive outlook on life, she’s raising herself and her younger brother? What will become of her tenacious and resilient spirit over time?

Will my students remember what we accomplished these last two years? Ten years from now will they think back to their work on the Tap Project and find their own cause for which to fight? Will they value literacy in their own lives and in the lives of their children, thinking back to all our conversations about literacy and power; remembering that books are the first thing to go when a group is oppressed? Will Esther’s mantra, “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” ring in their ears and press on their hearts?

I will miss this group of students that is for sure. But I am already thinking about who will be the next group to walk through my classroom door. How will I begin my year, what will I be about? I thank my first class of students for graciously allowing me the freedom to figure out who I am as a teacher and begin the process of finding my teaching stride. They were so forgiving, willing, and able. I am thankful we had this season together. It’s an unending cycle, one in which leaves you always, in the end, letting go.