Dearest Elliptical Machine,
I know we've been distant this week. I had full intention of spending lots of quality time with you, three times this week, actually, and I have yet to make good on my promises. In the past I know I've intentionally avoided you, grumbled in your presence and been a real pill when we've been together. But now that life is totally taking over I wish we could have our thirty minutes of peace together. I'd read my latest kid novel and half watch the TV in your room. We'd both leave our time feeling accomplished and purposeful. May I please take a rain check? This time my absence is not personal, only circumstantial. I hope you understand.